Cautions in Working With a Teacher

There are several ways in which a student-teacher relationship can become problematic. It is important for both teacher and student to be alert to signs that things might not be as they should be, and to take immediate steps to address any concerns. These are examples of the types of issues that may come up in a student-teacher relationship, and appropriate ways to address them:

• Tansferrence. Perhaps the biggest trap is that many students tend to idolize or idealize a teacher as some sort of perfect being. This virtually guarantees disappointment and disillusionment. This is a form of transference, in which the student subconsciously transfers their own awakened nature onto the teacher.
  In another form of transference, a student may begin to afford the teacher a generalized authority they do not claim or do not deserve, or to project positive or negative parental qualities onto them. While teachers should be held to a high standard of responsibility and care, even the most mature, conscientious, and skillful teachers are human and make human mistakes. Sometimes a teacher may behave in otherwise benign ways that unwittingly match a student’s unexamined projections, so this expectation may cause disappointment even if a teacher behaves ethically. If either the student or the teacher notices that idealization or transference are beginning to take place, it is important to call it out and discuss it openly.

• Counter-transferrence. While we think it is fair to say most Zen teachers behave appropriately, some teachers have used students to support their own emotional, financial, or sexual needs in a process called counter-transference. If you notice signs of a teacher in our sangha or any other bringing their personal issues or needs into the relationship, or making romantic or sexual overtures, you should notify another teacher or the ethics ombudsperson immediately. Other red flags may include a teacher asking for favors, insisting on secrecy, or asking to meet secretly outside of dokusan.

• Inappropriate intimacy. Another reason problems might occur in the student-teacher relationship is because Zen practice often exposes our vulnerable places.  This can open us up emotionally in ways that create a sense of intimacy with a teacher.  Appropriately held, this intimacy can create important opportunities for growth. However, this sense of intimacy can sometimes become confused with romantic feelings, leading to misunderstanding, hurt, or, sadly, even abuse.

• Dual roles. A final caution is to avoid confusing roles.  Although there is some difference of opinion on this matter, our view is that a Zen teacher should not also serve as your psychotherapist, accountant, lawyer, professional consultant, etc., and the student should not provide such services to the teacher. Crossing professional boundaries can further complicate the teacher-student dynamic, so we think these roles are best kept separate.

If a student-teacher relationship breaks down for any of these reasons, it can be deeply hurtful. We bring our highest expectations and aspirations to spiritual practice, often placing our trust in and opening up to another as much or more than we do in any other context, so breaches of trust or of our reasonable expectations may be especially painful. Full Moon Zen’s teachers have seen this sort of harm occur and are fully committed to avoiding harm. This primarily requires commitment from teachers to maintain healthy boundaries, and, secondarily, from students to be alert and wise stewards of their own practice and our community, as well.